NFL Star Sued for $63.....BILLION Dollars
August 16th 2007 01:58
The new Osama Bin Laden??
South Carolina inmate, Jonathan Lee Riches got his crazy on, and has filed a lawsuit against NFL player Michael Vick for $63B!!! Vick, who is quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons, is currently facing charges for participating in illegal dogfighting.
In his lawsuit, Riches claims that Michael Vick stole two white mixed pit bull dogs from his house in Florida and used them for fights in Virginia. Richies then alleges that Vick sold the dogs on e-Bay and used the proceeds to "purchase missiles from the Iran government."
According to Riches, Vick needed the missiles as he had pledged allegiance to Al Qaeda back in February of this year.
Riches also believes that Vick stole his identity in order to purchase dog food and supplies for the dogs. Which is kind of a weird one, cos you'd think that an NFL player would be more cashed up than someone about to go to prison. But hey, anything's possible.
And shockingly, Michael Vick has been selling Jonathan Lee Riches mugs, hats and clothing without paying Riches for their use. He even has used Riches name on his personal football outfit. Crikey, has anyone told Michael Vicks that he's a moron? I mean surely he'd be better off selling merchandise that has HIS name on it, rather than selling merchandise with a nobody who raises dogs for dogfighting's name on it. Sports stars. Dumb as rocks I tell ya!
Seriously, I kid you not. Riches has filed a lawsuit claiming all of this.
Nothing says 'professional' like a hand written lawsuit
In his claim, Riches says "Michael Vick has to stop physically hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes." So, he's suing him for $63B. He wants the cash, backed by silver and gold, delivered to the front gates of the Williamsburg Federal Corectional Facility in Sth Carolina where he is currently serving time for wire fraud conviction.
Damn, those dogs must have been phenomenal if Vick managed to get enough for them to buy a couple missiles. I mean, I'm no expert in black market arms dealing, but you'd have to figure that a missile would cost, what, a hundred thousand at least? Those dogs must have been the Mohammed Ali of the dogfighting world!!! What I'm really surprised about, is that you can't buy missiles on e-Bay.
I think the handwritten lawsuit is a nice touch too. He could have come across as all kinds of crazy if he'd typed up the claim.
While I think that Michael Vick deserves a good hard kick up the ass for participating in dogfights, which is reprehensible, somehow I don't think he's going to have to worry about settling on this suit. Mind you, this kind of evidence is enough for the American government to transport you off to Guantanamo Bay for 5 or 6 years solitary confinement. Oh yeah, that's right, they'd never send an American citizen to Guantanamo.
However, I'd definitely suggest that the doctors up the amount of medication that they're giving Mr Riches. They don't seem to be working all that well!
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QUOTE ME NO QUOTES!
It reminds me of the successful law suit taken by a woman who accidentally poured hot coffee..ON HERSELF...and then sued McD's for MILLIONS...and won....I have to say it again...and won...why not me?
I wanna become a Yank and slip on The Donald's golden floor...and yeah..I hope they kick his butt for the dog fights...bastard.
fog