100 Unsexiest Men of 2007
April 16th 2007 05:58
The Boston Phoenix newspaper has released it's list of the 100 Unsexiest Men of 2007.
Some of my favourites from the list include:
100. Tom Cruise (actor, scientologist, nutter)
99. Aaron Carter (singer, brother of Nick Carter of The Backstreet Boys)
Personally, I think he should have been higher in the list. The boy looks like a heroin junkie, and is a self-absorbed brat who thinks he's cool. He's not.
87. Joe Simpson (ex Baptist Minister and father of Jessica and Ashlee Simpson)
This is the man who once said to GQ Magazine, about his daughter Jessica's boobs:
"She's got Double D's. You can't cover those suckers up". Gross and inappropriate.
79. Joe Francis (creator of Girls Gone Wild)
How slimy is Joe Francis, oh let me count the ways. First there's his video series Girls Gone Wild, which hardly makes him an upstanding citizen. Then he chose to tell the world on Howard Sterns radio show that Tara Reid was a bad lay (apparently Tara lies there like a starfish), but Paris Hilton is the best lay ever. Wow, what a gentleman. He's about to go to jail for tax evasion.....and personally, I hope that soap is real slippery and he drops it a lot.
78. Bill Gates (founder Microsoft)
Or to quote Dana Harvey - "Gates apparently made a deal with the devil 'You can have $60 billion, but you have to go through life looking like a turtle.'"
71. Dr Robert Rey (reality show plastic surgeon)
I don't know how many of you have seen the reality show Dr 90210 on Foxtel. If you haven't, you need to see this show. Dr Robert Rey makes Paris Hilton look deep. Seriously.
63. Chad Kroeger (singer, Nickelback)
I don't see the appeal of this man. He's very very ugly. His voice isn't bad, but it can't make up for that head!
59. Gene Simmons (Kiss)
He makes my skin crawl.....
52. JayZ (rapper, boyfriend of Beyonce)
35. Kevin Federline (ex husband of Britney Spears and wannabe rapper)
He would have seemed so much more disgusting if Britney hadn't given away all her dignity earlier this year.
29. Mark Antony (singer, husband of J-Lo)
He is undead.
28. Dustin "Screech" Diamond (actor- Saved By the Bell, stand up comedian)
Gee, I can't understand how he ended up on this list??
25. OJ Simpson (former footballer, former actor, murderer and first time novelist)
He'll soon be releasing a novel called "If I Did It". A hypothetical exercise where OJ explains how he would have killed Nicole.....if he'd done it.
23. Pete Doherty (addict, frontman for Babyshamble and fiance of Kate Moss)
Disgusting junkie.
20. Jared Fogle (subway spokesperson)
Yes he used to be fat, now he's not. But no amount of weight loss will ever make him sexy!
11. Michael Richards (comedian, played Kramer on Seinfeld)
Well his racist tirade last year pretty much killed the last of his career (which was already in it's death throes). Even without that incident....this man could never be sexy.
1. Donald Trump (business man and star of The Apprentice)
That hair? Donald, with the cash at your disposal, you couldn't get a better hairpiece?
So, who wasn't in the list that you thought should have been? Here's a few men that I would have nominated:
-Justin Timberlake - I know, for some reason a lot of women love him. But c'mon he's a geeky whiteboy who thinks he's black. Very unsexy.
-Michael Jackson - nothing sexy about Michael, unless you find freakshows at carnivals sexy.
-Fergie - what, she's a chick? You're kidding?? Are you sure??
-Brandon Davis - he's famous for calling Lindsay Lohan firecrotch. He's so badly behaved that even Paris Hilton is embarassed by him. He's greasy. And apparently his family aren't so rich anymore. Oh yeah...and he screwed Britney Spears in a toilet cubicle at a nightclub early in the year when she was on her 3month bender.
Some of my favourites from the list include:
Tom Cruise with his new wife Katie Holmes
100. Tom Cruise (actor, scientologist, nutter)
The heat Cruise emitted early in his career has evaporated, leaving a smirking corpse only slightly colder than the Wicked Witch of the West (to name another humorless cartoon, prone to disturbingly manic episodes, who melts when squirted). About as sexy as a toad turd, Cruise struts around like a smaller, yappier version of Schwarzenegger-as-Terminator (check his cyborg-like smile and virtuous embrace of a bizarre science-fiction scenario masquerading as quasi-religion) but comes off even creepier, given his campaign to impregnate and enslave sorry, wed in holy matrimony impressionable young actresses
99. Aaron Carter (singer, brother of Nick Carter of The Backstreet Boys)
Personally, I think he should have been higher in the list. The boy looks like a heroin junkie, and is a self-absorbed brat who thinks he's cool. He's not.
87. Joe Simpson (ex Baptist Minister and father of Jessica and Ashlee Simpson)
"She's got Double D's. You can't cover those suckers up". Gross and inappropriate.
79. Joe Francis (creator of Girls Gone Wild)
How slimy is Joe Francis, oh let me count the ways. First there's his video series Girls Gone Wild, which hardly makes him an upstanding citizen. Then he chose to tell the world on Howard Sterns radio show that Tara Reid was a bad lay (apparently Tara lies there like a starfish), but Paris Hilton is the best lay ever. Wow, what a gentleman. He's about to go to jail for tax evasion.....and personally, I hope that soap is real slippery and he drops it a lot.
78. Bill Gates (founder Microsoft)
Imagine how much of a nerd you have to be to negate the inherent sexiness of some $37 billion?
Or to quote Dana Harvey - "Gates apparently made a deal with the devil 'You can have $60 billion, but you have to go through life looking like a turtle.'"
71. Dr Robert Rey (reality show plastic surgeon)
I don't know how many of you have seen the reality show Dr 90210 on Foxtel. If you haven't, you need to see this show. Dr Robert Rey makes Paris Hilton look deep. Seriously.
63. Chad Kroeger (singer, Nickelback)
I don't see the appeal of this man. He's very very ugly. His voice isn't bad, but it can't make up for that head!
59. Gene Simmons (Kiss)
He makes my skin crawl.....
52. JayZ (rapper, boyfriend of Beyonce)
Its like hes got a lazy eye, only its his whole face.
35. Kevin Federline (ex husband of Britney Spears and wannabe rapper)
He would have seemed so much more disgusting if Britney hadn't given away all her dignity earlier this year.
29. Mark Antony (singer, husband of J-Lo)
He is undead.
28. Dustin "Screech" Diamond (actor- Saved By the Bell, stand up comedian)
Shockingly deviant, cretinous former child star who scammed fans by selling T-shirts to help him avoid foreclosure on his house there were no such proceedings against him and who starred in a repulsive sex tape, Saved by the Smell, which featured him doing the Dirty Sanchez.
Gee, I can't understand how he ended up on this list??
25. OJ Simpson (former footballer, former actor, murderer and first time novelist)
He'll soon be releasing a novel called "If I Did It". A hypothetical exercise where OJ explains how he would have killed Nicole.....if he'd done it.
23. Pete Doherty (addict, frontman for Babyshamble and fiance of Kate Moss)
Disgusting junkie.
20. Jared Fogle (subway spokesperson)
Yes he used to be fat, now he's not. But no amount of weight loss will ever make him sexy!
11. Michael Richards (comedian, played Kramer on Seinfeld)
Well his racist tirade last year pretty much killed the last of his career (which was already in it's death throes). Even without that incident....this man could never be sexy.
1. Donald Trump (business man and star of The Apprentice)
That hair? Donald, with the cash at your disposal, you couldn't get a better hairpiece?
So, who wasn't in the list that you thought should have been? Here's a few men that I would have nominated:
-Justin Timberlake - I know, for some reason a lot of women love him. But c'mon he's a geeky whiteboy who thinks he's black. Very unsexy.
-Michael Jackson - nothing sexy about Michael, unless you find freakshows at carnivals sexy.
Fergie
-Brandon Davis - he's famous for calling Lindsay Lohan firecrotch. He's so badly behaved that even Paris Hilton is embarassed by him. He's greasy. And apparently his family aren't so rich anymore. Oh yeah...and he screwed Britney Spears in a toilet cubicle at a nightclub early in the year when she was on her 3month bender.
Brandon Davis
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Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
Sorry KW...your wicked humour!!
killing me.....!!!
Timberpuddle most definitely unsexy.
Fergie??? hahahahahahahaah!!
Brandon oil face...
Oh God....this post is just too too funny!!!!!
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
But I love it. I agree, Justin Timberlake is unco and uncool.....
Comment by Damo
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
Kleo - it's Monday...the perfect day for being mean!!
Damo - I'm surprised Tom was only at number 100 also. Surely he should have been in the top 10!
Comment by MelissaA
Fun Facts
Love the quote on Bill Gates - funny stuff!
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
Someone had sent me this shot as part of a series of film muck-ups (yes I changed the 'f' to 'm')
It's supposedly taken on the set of 'Vanilla Sky' and I had thought it might be fake because, oh come on....really?....wouldn't this be embarassing??
And Kidman is about...what?...5'11"...and Katie is about the same height....so is he standing on a stool in their wedding photo???
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
The nasty things they say about Bill Gates!!!
Kylie
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
I LOVE this photo! He has to be standing on a stool in his wedding pic. Cos there are other wedding photo's where Katie is obviously taller than he is (or she's crouching down!).
Hehe, this is an embarassing photo!!
Kylie
Comment by Nina
I'm on board with your suggestions, particularly Brandon Davis.
Geraldo Rivera should definitely be on the list. The dude creeps me out - they mention him on the entry for Bill O'Reilly, saying that he verbally kicked his ass. I actually happened to flick onto that confrontation, and Geraldo came across as his usually dickish and ill-informed self.
On the home front, I nominate Kim Beazley - I shudder just thinking about him.
And since the Donald is on the list, it seems only fair to throw in Rosie O'Donnell as well.
Comment by Damo
I have a winner.
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
You two need to watch that volleyball scene from Top Gun. Slider has the best body yes sir indeedy.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Nickoftime's Sanity Corner
Great list, but you forgot to include Steven Tyler...he has a face that not even his own mother could love...how he produced Liv is a question that has haunted me for ages lolol
Great post,
Take care,
Nick
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
Dusk - Iceman was hot! Top Gun is the only movie, other than Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, that I've ever liked Val Kilmer in.
Damo - hehe, I love those pics!
Mrs M - mmmm....the volleyball scene......mmmm. Slider wasn't too bad at all!
Nic - oh yes, great choice!!! Steven Tyler is a very unattractive man! And yet Liv is divine...and his other daughter Mia is also gorgeous (she's a plus size model).
Comment by Cibbuano
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
Something about Bill Gates...is sexy.
No. Not the money.
I just remember watching a documentary(?)
about what he's doing with his money...
he's wiping out entire diseases.
He's making a change.
...and that made him, in my eyes...hot.
He's brilliant and funny.
Could never play Rugby though...
Oh well....Can't have it all.
That Volleyball scene????
......oucccchhhhhhh.....
And okay Mrs M... Slider was cool ...but...IceMan...made me melt....
And come on now KW...Val in the BatSuit...
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
Hmmm....good point. I had forgotten about Val in a batsuit. He did look mighty fine in that suit.
Bill Gates apparently donates more to charity each year that most countries. I admire that.
Kylie