Why can't the AFL ever find anyone decent to perform at the Grand Final?
September 27th 2006 23:05
Just once, once, I would like the powers that be at the AFL to bring in some decent musical talent for an AFL Grand Final!!!
The line up of entertainment for this years Grand Final has been announced and consists of mostly washed up has-beens from the 80's. The headlining act is Irene Cara. You remember Irene Cara. She sang Fame and that song What A Feeling from the movie Flashdance.
What Irene's done since then, I have no idea. And I can't say I care. I'm curious as to why they chose Irene? Which member of the Grand Final entertainment committee suddenly had an epiphany, turned to the rest of the committee and said "hear me out guys, I've got a great idea of who we should get to headline the Grand Final.....". That idiot should never be allowed to work again, and should have to listen to Irene's entire back catalogue for all eternity as his punishment.
The rest of the line-up includes the many other 80's revivalists who are part of the Countdown Tour, including: Daryl Braithwaite, John Paul Young, Brian Mannix and a few other folks that I've never even heard of (and I am a child of the 80's people).
I know part of the fun of the AFL Grand Final is to watch truly cringe-worthy acts performing in a stadium not at all suited to live music. And there have been some truly horrific moments.
Who remember's feeling sorry for the Aboriginal Opera singer who destroyed Advance Australia Fair a number of years ago when she couldn't hear herself sing and the reverb was so bad we saw her sing the words a good 4-5 seconds before we heard the words? Who didn't want to throw football's at "Brave Delta" in 2005 when she sung? And aren't we all sick to death of those bloody Australian Idol's popping up to sing?
I know it's tradition to have a lame entertainment at the Grand Final, but I'm sick to death of it. Get someone decent for gods sake, or just forgo the entertainment at all.
Thank god there's Roy & HG to commentate the game on the radio.
The line up of entertainment for this years Grand Final has been announced and consists of mostly washed up has-beens from the 80's. The headlining act is Irene Cara. You remember Irene Cara. She sang Fame and that song What A Feeling from the movie Flashdance.
Irene Cara
The rest of the line-up includes the many other 80's revivalists who are part of the Countdown Tour, including: Daryl Braithwaite, John Paul Young, Brian Mannix and a few other folks that I've never even heard of (and I am a child of the 80's people).
I know part of the fun of the AFL Grand Final is to watch truly cringe-worthy acts performing in a stadium not at all suited to live music. And there have been some truly horrific moments.
Who remember's feeling sorry for the Aboriginal Opera singer who destroyed Advance Australia Fair a number of years ago when she couldn't hear herself sing and the reverb was so bad we saw her sing the words a good 4-5 seconds before we heard the words? Who didn't want to throw football's at "Brave Delta" in 2005 when she sung? And aren't we all sick to death of those bloody Australian Idol's popping up to sing?
I know it's tradition to have a lame entertainment at the Grand Final, but I'm sick to death of it. Get someone decent for gods sake, or just forgo the entertainment at all.
Thank god there's Roy & HG to commentate the game on the radio.
| 68 |
| Vote |
Add To: 
Subscribe to this blog
Comment by Homer Joyce
The real question is why bother with pre-match entertainment at all when (in football fans' eyes) the AFL has the best two hours of entertainment for the year on show with the grand final itself?
They should dispense with all of the Americanisation of Aussie Rules, and go back to singing Waltzing Matilda, letting the balloons go, and just get into it ...
But since that's too simple for the Bozos at the AFL, and they'll persist with hyping up an event that doesn't need hyping up, someone should at least conduct a nationwide poll on what the supporters would like to see as pre-match entertainment. And if they have to have a retro 80s theme to it ...
Here's my suggestions:
John Travolta in drag performing Olivia Newton-John's "Let's get Physical." backed up by the cast of Happy Days singing background vocals.
During the match, Steve Bracks could put on a wig and sing Van Halen's "Jump" every time one of the players goes for a speccie, then quickly put a dress on and sing Boy George's "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me" every time there is a bone-crunching tackle.
At half time when the players have a rest and take their boots off, they could show footage of the players in the change rooms and get Chopper Reid to sing “Footloose” by Kenny Loggins.
During the presentation ceremony, Amanda Vandstone and John Howard could sing a duet, Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes' "Up Where We Belong" with Simone and Shane Warne on backing vocals.
While the players do their victory lap (if West Coast win, Dermott Brereton and Eddie McGuire could sing Madonna’s “Like a Virgin”) .. (if Sydney win, Tony Lockett and Cathy Freeman could sing, Captain & Tennille’s “Do That To Me One More Time”).
And what about post-match entertainment? How about Molly Meldrum dressed up in straight clothes (Stubbies, t-shirt and thongs) dong a rendition of Queen's "Another one bites the dust" And for background vocals … the cast of the yet-to-be-produced TV series, Straight Eye for the Queer Guy.
As the spectators finally leave the ground, Molly follows this up with a song directed at the spectators ... Michael Jackson's "Beat It."
Finally, as the celebrations begin, Geoff Clark and the ATSICs could sing Lionel Richie’s “All night long.”
Homer …
Comment by Anonymous
Now THAT would be entertaining. I love it.
Kylie
Comment by Homer Joyce
Glad you loved it.
I thought you might, after mentioning that you like Roy & HG (the two kings of shit-dribbling) ...
If I have time, I'll compile a list of possible 60s, 70s & 90s retro grand final entertainment that the AFL could consider for next year ...
Homer ...