First rule of combat, Heather --if I can call you Heather -- is to never, ever, let them see you sweat," starts the Toronto gal-about. "Especially on a 24-hour whirlwind world media tour where scrapbooks and tears are pulled out in an orderly fashion to highlight the roughly 5,000 press clippings you have ever so lovingly glued in your book of revelations.

"Please listen carefully -- no more TV interviews, or scrapbooking, or threatening to take a Beatle down, or saying you thought of suicide when you probably didn't, or asking for water at room temperature when nobody really know what that temperature is. Now is the time to forget about the court of public opinion, because let's face it, even when you win that, what does it all mean in the end?"